The Plan
by MarisaMcAwesome
Summary: When the Saints decide to attack the Deckers, Gat has a little improvising to do. And being the Saints, it has to be WAY over the top. *SPOILER* This takes place in Steelport supposing Gat is still alive.
1. Chapter 1

"I think you got a good plan there Oleg, but we're gonna need more guns, explosions, and-"  
>"And boobs!" Zimos said interrupting me.<br>"Hey I was getting there! You can never go wrong with those three things." I said leaning back on the couch, putting my legs on the table and my arms behind my head.  
>"How about we be serious here for a second Gat?" Angel told me with that serious look on his face.<br>"What? You think I'm fucking kidding? Just a couple of Saints shooting up a Decker's hideout ain't nothing until you add those gems." I said with a laugh.  
>"You think that little bitch Matt is just gonna take this without a fight?" Pierce added.<br>"If he does it'll just show how much of a pussy he really is." Shaundi said.  
>"Exactly. Besides, I haven't shot anyone since last night and Decker target practice sounds fucking fun." I told them as I loaded my pistol.<br>"Ok, so then what exactly do you want to add to my plan?" Oleg asked with a surprised look.  
>"Well, instead of just driving up, I was thinking we could <em>fly<em> over in our helicopters, parachute down into their crib, have some Saints shoot up the front, and then as we walk out victorious we can have their whole place taken out with an airstrike."  
>"Dammit Johnny." Pierce said with a facepalm, "The only think that could've made that crazier is if we attacked them with giant purple dildos, were naked, and had VTOL's follow us over there."<br>Everyone laughed until I said, "That's so crazy it just might work."  
>Angel got up and said, "Yeah you guys can count me out on this one." He walked to the door and left.<br>"Oh well. He's missing all the fun anyways." I said with a wink. "Yo Zimos, you got any girls that wanna help us out? Extra firepower couldn't hurt."  
>"I'm surprised you didn't ask sooner," he said holding out the note at the end, "They'll be glad to help us out."<br>"Amen!" Pierce yelled as he jumped up, "This plan just a hell of a lot better!"  
>Oleg said, "So where do you plan on getting all this stuff? Especially the giant dildos."<br>"Easy," I replied, "Just gotta make a quick stop at the gun store for those, and for the VTOL's we just gotta go over to a STAG base. After all, we're only borrowing them. I don't think they'll mind too much."  
>"And that's just the easy part," Shaundi said, "Well then again, none of this shit is too hard."<br>"That's the spirit! Now let's go!" I said jumping up and putting my gun in my pants. "I say we draw a _lot_ of attention and take our choppers over to the base. Nothing better than free publicity!" I said heading up to the helipad.  
>I chose to take the smallest helicopter of our huge fleet because I wanted something easy to maneuver in case of emergency. It was also the most disposable chopper we had, and I could care less if we lost it.<br>"I'm gonna hitch a ride with Gat!" I heard Pierce yell at Shaundi and Oleg. He walked over with a SMG in hand and said, "You can fly one of these right?"  
>"Fuck yes I can. You see all these?" I said pointing around, "I can fly <em>all<em> of these no problem."  
>"Just making sure boss, I don't wanna crash and burn and be made fun of as the Saint who died crashing a helicopter."<br>"Is this what you worry about at night kid? They wouldn't even have the _balls _to make fun of a Saint." I said climbing into the helicopter and starting it up. Pierce ran around to the other side, grabbed a sniper, and climbed into the passenger seat.


	2. Chapter 2

As the helicopter was taking off I put on my headset to talk to the rest of the gang. "Hey Shaundi, you guys can follow us over to the gun store and watch our backs. Never know who might try and sneak up on us in our District."  
>"Sounds good! Lead the way!" she replied back as she flew in our direction. I looked back at Pierce to see him looking through the scope on the sniper. I looked in the general direction he was looking to see a group of girls.<br>"Hey Pierce! I know they might be hot but now is NOT the time to check out some ass!" I said teasing him.  
>"If you're me it's ALWAYS time to check out ass!" he said winking. I rolled my eyes and turned back to the many screens of the cockpit. According to the map we were almost there so I started lowering down to street level. When we touched down we both jumped out and ran inside the store.<br>"Do you guys happen to carry giant purple dildos?" Pierce asked. The cashier gave him one of the funniest looks I've ever seen and I busted out laughing. "Preferably strong enough to hit people with-Hey! Don't give me that look!" he yelled at him, "Ain't nothing wrong with being truthful, god_damn_."  
>"Actually, now that you talk about it, we just got bats that match that description." the cashier said.<br>"Fuck yeah!" I yelled giving Pierce a hi-5. "Alright, now go back and get them unless you wanna get shot." I told the cashier, raising my gun. He started running towards the back room as I yelled after him, "And don't make me come back there! You see Pierce, THIS is how you rob a store the Saints Row way."  
>"Whatever you say Boss," Pierce said as the man came back out with an entire box of bats.<br>"Damn! Someone must've had a pretty fucking crazy idea to make these things!" I said picking one up and swinging it. "Whooo! These are gonna HURT." That's when the man hit the alarm button behind the counter to call the cops.  
>"You ready to be on the 5 o' clock news Gat?" Pierce asked.<br>"Are you kidding me? I was BORN ready." I said as I started stripping. I saw the look Pierce was giving me and said, "What? Remember part two of your genius plan?"  
>"You can't be telling me you're actually going to fucking do it." he said wide-eyed. "I ain't gonna be on TV with my ass hanging out!"<br>"Well I sure am. Besides, how else you gonna impress the hotties? I didn't get this popular with my clothes _on_."  
>"Y'know, unlike you I happen to do things <em>other<em> than being a Saint."  
>"And you know what it means for your record deal? Two words. Free. Publicity. The greatest thing since explosive ammo."<br>"Fine I'll do it. Shaundi and Oleg are doing this too right?"  
>"Of course they are. Stop being such a pussy and let's go. The sooner we leave the more cops will be after us." I picked up my clothes and put them in the box and ran back out to the helicopter. I waved off Shaundi and got in with Pierce.<br>We got back into the air and I said, "I wonder how STAG is going to react to our outfits."  
>Shaundi came on my headset and said, "I can bet you they're gonna be <em>more<em> than happy to see us."  
>"Awww we even get a warm welcome," I said as I saw police following us in the distance and VTOL's starting to fly up in front of us. "First thing I have to do when we land is give their lovely leader Cyrus Temple a nice big hug for the wonderful party." As we came in sight of the base I started to lower my elevation so I could see where they kept the VTOL's.<br>"Found the VTOL's! Follow me down a ways and keep em off our back Shaundi!" I said as we landed and she hovered above us. Pierce ran to a white one on our level, but I spotted the one I wanted. A nice black one up on the level above us. I ran up the stairs and admired the sleekness of the black VTOL before getting in.  
>The engines started right up and I shut the hatch. I flew up above the chaos STAG was starting down below and switched it into flight mode.<br>"Flight mode engaged." the computer announced.  
>"This thing is fucking awesome!" I yelled as I did a barrel roll. I found the trigger to fire the laser and pulled it. The whole jet vibrated with the power of it.<br>"Easy there hotshot! You're sharing this airspace with me, remember!" Pierce set through my headset.  
>"Yeah yeah, don't get your panties in a knot." I replied back. As we started approaching the Decker's massive crib I put my hand on the trigger. "Time for the fun to start." I thought with a grin.<p> 


End file.
